strong enough, my fwen,sunrise,sunset, it hurts

i thought i was strong enough;
i thought i could control my emotions;
i thought holding back is the best thing to do;
i thought you feel the way i feel for you..

coz that’s what you showed me;
that is how you made me feel,
we took it nice and slow..
it was amazing,
it felt like something real..

but now this dream has come to an end;
this feeling i have to get over with..
i thought i was strong enough;
but i’m hurting down deep..

A friend is someone who cares about you. The one that you can count on in times of troubles, pains, and sufferings that occur in your life. The one that you can trust with all the secrets of your life. A friend is someone who always finds time to listen to all the stories you tell and the one that is always concerned in everything that you do. These traits I found in you, that’s why I really trusted you, and for all of these, I know nothing to repay you but to simply be your friend. And we share the laughter for years admitting to each other that we enjoy being with one another.
But lately little changes are slowly taking place, I just woke up one morning that my feelings for you have changed. To describe it I don’t know of a way, its just that I have this weird feeling that I always want to see your cute face, to hear your sweet voice, and feel your gentle touch. And when it’s already my chance to see you, my knees began trembling, my heart pounding faster than ever, my mind began to mix up. “What shall I do? Will I put face powder on my face? What? What now?” Asking myself as if I was crazy. Then you suddenly appear right in front of me smiling. “Oh my! What shall I say?” I said to myself. And nevertheless I was speechless. No words to say, no stories to tell, nothing. But I managed to keep my feelings hidden.
I wanted that moment to last forever but unfortunately, the day is about to end, and nothing can we do about it, so we just bid goodbye to each other, and hope to see one another sooner.
That night, I was wondering under the dim moonlight. Dreaming about you and I, walking hands in hands, talking sweetly about sweet nothing… “Oh My!” I said to myself. “What’s this happening to me as if I was bewitched by somebody? Is this love? What can I do about it?” That night I slept with a smile in my lips.
On the next day, I see you wearing a blue cold face. I asked, “What’s Wrong?” while cheering you with all my might, but inside I too was dying. You told me it’s because of a girl you like most but despite the things you have done for her, she just can’t learn how to love you. My tears started to stream down my cheeks. You thought I understand you and that’s what causes me to cry. “No, you don’t understand,” I wanted this to tell you, “I was crying because like you, I really felt something special for someone and that’s you, but whatever I do, you just can’t feel that I love you too! And now you’re telling me you’re in love with somebody! What about me? What about my feelings for you?” These words I don’t have the guts to tell, so I just chose to be quiet and it’s all a secret for me to keep.
I spent that night crying endlessly. I can feel that boundless woe blanketing my lonely soul. “What shall I do now?” Will I let you know about my feelings for you?” These question rolled out of my mind. But after that, I remembered that I valued our friendship too much that I can’t stand to loose it just because of this stupid feeling they called LOVE.
That was my first decision, but I realized that I couldn’t be your friend without thinking about my feelings for you. “What will happen to me now? Now that I can’t hide my feelings anymore? … … Now I know what to do…” I sadly whispered to myself. I know it will take a long time for me to do this but I know it’s a must. Many hours passed and I spent it all by crying, for I promised to myself that, that will be the last time that I will cry just because of you. However I was wrong in this.
The next day I met you, I know I have practiced every word that I shall tell you. But I just stop myself from crying the moment I saw you drawing near. But I wipe it all dry for I have a very important message for you. But before I have the chance to tell you these words, you greeted me with a cheerful smile and a warm “Hi!” Ignoring this I told you, “Farewell,”. You asked me “Why?” Once again my tears began to fall because of the deep pain that I’m hiding inside but I know I must continue. ”Farewell my friend. For I am not worthy to be your friend. For a long time, I have betrayed our friendship.” I said. “Betrayed?” I can’t remember any time that you betrayed our friendship!” You said. But in your face I can see that you’re so confused. I must finish I know for ‘this is the only way to forget your love,” this is my heart instructing me for it too was hurt. I took a deep breath and said, “No, you don’t understand. I have betrayed it. I have promised that we will be friends forever but suddenly I felt that you already had a special place in my heart. I’m sorry. And now I’m leaving with all our happy and sad memories. But before I go, I want you to know that I LOVE YOU … MY DEAR FRIEND.” After this, I run with all my might even though I heard you shout, “Wait!” I can’t stand any single moment that I can hear your sweet and gentle voice because underneath that is the fact that you could never be mine… …

luv can wait 

wen i was a kid, i used to believe that
soulmates never exist..but as time passes
by, my perceptions suddenly change.. guys
are juz pain in d ass..but i admit, some
gurls cant live widout dem.. how does a
gurl handle different kind of guys?
player? ballers? haters? most of the guys
dont give sum gurls d ryt treatment dey
nid to have.. some guys juz take
advantage..treating deyr gurl as a
display..a trophy.. someone hu will make
dem standout and will make dem say..’pare!
chic ko! ayos ba?’ wid dat pogi pose tag
with a sexy wink.. do girls notice? or juz
ignoring all the things that have been
alredy seen by deyr naked eye? some are
foolish..some are not.. but please dont
tolerate.. wen will u learn? how will you
move on? how will u let things go? things
are not oweiz wut it seem to be.. you also
hav to spare sumthin for urself.. dont juz
give.. coz remember dat u also hav sumthin
to take.. if u think dat a guy deserves
it.. oh well..think agen.. you hav to luv
urself before anyone else.. if u think
that you’d be losin ur oder haf.. well..
ur absolutely wrong..for guys: please dont
enter a gurls life if u juz mean to break
their hearts.. always remember dat “dont
hurt gurlz coz God counts every tear dat
is fallin from deyr eyes” for gurlz: there
is sum1 rili meant for you..in the ryt
tym.. ryt place.. in god’s tym.. you’ll
juz forget u ever cried..den ul juz
realize dat its worth the long wait..you
dont hav to be in a hurry..der are a lot
of guys dat ull meet.. guys dat myt hurt
you..guys dat will possibly make u
cry..but bear in mind dat youll be meetin
d wrong ones before gettin into the right
one..you have to live ur lyf d way it shud
be..dont make men d center of ur lyf.. der
are a lot of things to be focused on.. as
u walk thru lyf.. u will realize dat it
wud be fun livin widout d excess
baggage..but the feelin of bein in love is
one of the most beautiful experience ur
lyf will ever encounter.. being
foolish..blinded..stupid..is not an
exemption.. you hav to control ur heart
and giv mind some space..its not bad to
shed tears.. youre only showin urself dat
u know and u have felt how to be inlove..
its all about riskin.. but if u think dat
uve given ur best..but still nuthin
happens.. you’re smart enuf to figure wut
to do..its easier to let go dan to hold
on.. love never gets tired.. sometimes we
only hav to take sum rest..
someday..somehow..someone.. will let u
forget all d bad things dat happend in d
past…and dat sum1, might be d one dat
will giv u d eternal happiness ur heart’s
been longin for… 

nter> this whats inside my head that time….errr, too long ago though…it was written during my nursing 106 lecture (bored s klase hehehe)… y am i writing it now? y am i still thinking about it?… do we always have to come to the sunset of our lives? is it that all the relationship does have its own phase of the day? y does relationship always have to go up and down…

no matter how much u both tried to make things better… there will always be something that breaks the spell of eternity…guess its being human…needless to say, all of us were born as an individual that we tend to still think more of ourselves before others…y do we love this person? y do we fight for our love? partly, yes, its because u wanna have a happy life with that person ur falling inlove with…but didnt u realize that by doing that, u r thinking about ur own personal happiness…not actually the happiness of ur other half perse (although it will come next) masaya k ky u cannot let go…masaya k kaya u cling to him/her…

on the other hand… y do people tend to hurt the ones they love…or the other way around, the people who loves them? if somebody falls inlove with you (eloquently speaking) please do try to avoid burst of all the emotions coz this will not help at all… everything will just end up in chaos…u r lucky if ull find a peronality that tends to talk things over before she/he freaks out as well… simple things, we are sometimes making it big for a discussion or an urgument… ego sometimes go way beyond its limit…we become egocentric that even though we know we are already wrong, we tend yo insist that we r right… hay buhay….

how i always pray that relationships do stay always in the flamming hours or the day… i always pray that there will be no rain nor storm (thought sometimes necessary to make love grow more thought storm isnt really relevant at all), i pray that there will be no sunset when it comes to love…i do pray that everything will be just perfect…that theres no such thing as being HUMAN…(imperfections)will that happen…a big fat dream as i call it…(bullocks! oppss…pardon me!)

in every relationship, (cliche) love,respect, honesty, prayers ….and so on and so forth..blah blah….are the keys to make it successful…easy to say than done…it takes guts, powers and perceverance to make it a reality…kailangan super hero k hehehe…

ive got loads of things on my mind right now… naguguluhan s word n PAG-IBIG… hurt but still madly inlove…wrecked but still complete…sobbed but elated… selfish but altruistic,hached off but pleased..at marami pang iba…..hay naku, y is it that when we fall inlove we often does goes both extremes…nakakasira b ng bait?…

all i know is that…its lovely to be loved and beloved…no matter what consequences it will take…

IT HURTS!!!!
hey i think weve passed the point
wer we r put outa joint
by wAts goin on in r respective worlds..
seems just one thing
one thing remains
wAt we feel will always remain
u excite me beyond
my horizon..
r u surprised when
i let go?
man i live 2 breathe and flow.
the way u r
the things that u do
they stir the very depths of me
id love 2 release myself and love u

hurts to say I’m sorry
It hurts to say I never cared
It hurts to say I’ll always love you
It hurts to say I enjoyed the life we sadly shared

It hurts to know I’m not the one
It hurts to know I can be better
It hurts to know you’ll find someone else
It hurts to know we won’t always be together

It hurts when I see you angry
It hurts when I see you walk away
It hurts when I see you so depressed
It hurts when I see you cry each day

It hurts to know it’s over
It hurts to know I destroyed this love
It hurts to know I did something so stupid
It hurts to know I injured my angel from above

It hurts so bad to be so alone
It hurts so bad to live in a world without you
It hurts so bad to live with this weight upon my shoulder
It hurts so bad to try to figure out what I’ll do without you

It hurts to remember our days together
It hurts to remember when it was just us two
It hurts to remember our time spent with one another alone
It hurts to remember all the times I wanted to say “I love you too”

It hurts for me to beg and plead
It hurts for me to cry
It hurts for me to get back up
It hurts for me to even try

It hurts when I see you crying
It hurts when I see your face
It hurts when I realize there’s no second chance
It hurts when I look at you and realize someone will take my place

It hurts to see you fall apart
It hurts to walk away
It hurts to hear your painful tears
And it hurts to know you’ll be out of my life someday